Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
