We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
