If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
