Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
