I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize