Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
