Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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