she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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