Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm getting married
To pizza
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
