Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
