But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
