Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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