It's Friday. Sex?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
