Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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