Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize