he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize