He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
