I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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