He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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