My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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