i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
