just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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