brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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