you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
