i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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