i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize