I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
