It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
