afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
