She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This baby is an asshole
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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