There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I cut my penus on the lid.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
