i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
