Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
