Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
