mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
