I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
