Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
