I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
