Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
