There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
