I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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