The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We are two peas in an std pod
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
