So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Randomize
