It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
