but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
