You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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