Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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