how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
