so that wasnt chicken after all
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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