I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
