All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize