So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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