boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
