I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
