so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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