shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
