You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
