I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
