The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
