have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
