so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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