Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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