Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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