Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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