I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
