I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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