i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
