pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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