it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
