He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
